Semalam ada la insiden yang buat saya hangin satu badan.. tak perlu la saya cerita in depth kat sini, tapi sampai ke malam gak la rasa berangin tu tak ilang2..
tapi dari insiden tu, saya muhasabah diri balik, susah betul saya ni nak maafkan orang.. saya ni, kalau dah benci orang, memang saya blacklist la, saya tak akan contact dan tak akan layan kalau dia contact.. ye saya selfish bla bla bla..
Dia pernah rapat dengan saya, sangat2 rapat la senang citer.. tapi kami pernah gaduh dan dia ada kata – OK FINE, SAYA TAK AKAN CARI AWAK LAGI, DAN TAK AKAN CONTACT AWAK LAGI SAMPAI BILA2.. and i was like, ok, whatever, i have nothing to lose…
Rasanya 3-4 tahun gak la benda tu jadik, mema ng tak contact dan saya pun tak ambik tau apa jadik kat dia.. kawan2 yang tau pasal kami ada gak bgtau, eh, he is married tau, how come u dont know? i just smiled, malas nak panjang2 citer..
Pastu, dah ditakdirkan Allah, saya terjumpa dia masa beli lunch kat opis.. damn, saya pusing nak g kaunter and there he was.. for a moment it was like “i think i know you” but when he called my name, i know it was for real.. so a short chit chat and i went back to the office.. thereafter he tried to sort of make up with me, call, email & YM, tapi hati yang macam HARD ROCK ni, cam malas nak layan la, coz i was still so hurt with his words kan..
And semalam, being the insensitive and selfish me, i hang up when he called the office.. well actually he called me since Wednesday, and then again yesterday, for about 7times i think.. i just leave it ringing.. my heart says not to answer it thou i know he really need my help.. then he YM me, and then the office phone rang.. i thought it was my sweetheart but it was not.. I answered it, heard his voice and just hang up, tindakan refleks ok!!! saya pun tak tau bila masa saya letak phone but there it was, it happened already..
balik umah, bukak FB, dia dah unfriend saya.. ok, whatever la kan..
anyways, if he happens to read this post, think back what u have done u a few years back ok, think abt what u said to me before this.. i dont forgive and forget as easy as that..
p/s: now listening to KEMAAFAN DENDAM YANG TERINDAH – AISYAH sambil makan kuih raya..